Being Called A Ho

As a person who touched as a kid; it is very triggering for a man to call me out of my name for no reason. 

It is not cool to be there for a person who you think is cool with you only for them to call you a derogatory name all because you answered a question and expressed feelings. But let it be somebody else; they would never be called out of their name. They would be treated with the utmost respect and dignity. No questions asked. 

I never publicly embarrass people that I am close to. I keep a lot of shit to myself and suffer in silence. It is just not right to be called out of your name as a black woman in order to be hurtful and put me down. It is not fair or right. I just want the respect that I give.

Love Live Life

Shooting Your Shot

 Three years ago I took the risk of shooting my shot and all I really wanted was to see if we had any chemistry with one another. Sex never crossed my mind. Don't get me wrong; but if it happened it just happened. I was not aiming for that though. I just wanted to sit at a time with food and music to have am intimate conversation with this person. 

Needless to say; he never validated my feelings. For three years all he did was shit on my feelings. Every woman he had sex was thrown in my face. He never really cared about how I felt because what I felt never mattered to him. 

For three years I have tried so hard to get rid of the feelings I have had for him. Only lord knows it has not been easy. It took a lot for me to open up and tell my feelings. As shy as I am; it is really hard for me to open up and not be judged for the way I feel. It's all good! This my first and last time telling a man how I feel. It only brings you heartache and you being shitted on.

Love Live Life!!!!

People Thinking You Are Weird

 I am really a loner. 

I don't hang around a lot of people because people are evil sometimes and they do not care about you or your well being. 

People watch and read things that I say and do on social media and they think that I am weird. Which don't make sense to me at all. Everybody have a little bit of weirdness to them. So why in the hell am I being targeted? I try so hard to not talk to a lot of people. And try so hard to stay away from people because the way I am I get uncomfortable when I feel like somebody do not mean me no good. 

I get so sick and tired of hearing that I am weird to people. If I am so weird; stay off my social media and out of my damn life. I rather be weird by my damn self. I am just me and trying to be comfortable in my own skin at the age of 45. People don't make it easy for me to be me unapologetically. 

Let people be who they are.

Love, Live, Life

Dealing With Grief

 March 7, 2023 my sister Ronisha and a friend of ours was murdered. When I got the phone call from Ronisha's oldest daughter telling me that Ronisha was murdered; I lost all bodily function. A lot of emotions went through me that day. 

My world as I knew it was over. I did not want to be bothered by nobody. My spirit was broken that day. Ronisha was my best friend of 20 years but I called her my sister. She and I had gone through a whole lot together in 20 years. 

My depression set in on me and I was not able to shake it. The crazy part is I had to get on stage to perform comedy a month after she was killed. I do not know how in the hell I was able to get on that stage like that and perform. To be honest; I did not remember nothing I said on that stage until I got home and watched the video. 

Comedian Armani was so proud of me for getting on that stage and doing what I needed to do. My comedy hasn't been the same since that night. 

I am so hurt that she is no longer here and enjoying life with me. But I have to try and live on without her. With God's help I will be just fine.

Seek therapy with a therapist that will help you with your grief. That will give you the tools you need in order to make it from one day to the next.

Love, Live, Life

Nobody Will Help You

 In today’s society you have to be careful who you trust. Everybody is not your friend and not everybody will understand you. 

With what is going on with Diddy and others; you have to ask yourself; “If I were in trouble who would come to help me”? If you can’t think of not one person who would come to your rescue; you are in a world of trouble. 

To the best you can with what you have. 

Love, Live, Life 

Finding Love Again

I look at my life and I thank God that I am here to see thirty-five years old. I've had some relationships that didn't make any sense at all. I've had relationships that really hurt me, and left me devastated. I've learned something or a lot from every relationships that I've ever been in. I've learned to never repeat the same mistakes twice. I've learned to never bring old baggage from an old relationship into a new one, because it' not fair to the new guy, and he don't deserve that. He deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. 

When in a relationship; you have to have time, patience, respect, honesty, trust, loyalty, and communication to make it really work. You have to always be honest with one another. You can never have secrets between the two of you, or you'll be doomed from the start. You can't have everybody all up in your business. Keeping people out of your business is a necessity. When you put everybody in your relationship they will constantly have something to say. 

To keep your relationship safe; never let your single friends hang around your boyfriend or girlfriend. You have to also keep an eye on your family as well. Family are the main people to cause you harm if you not watching. You have to always nurture your relationship. What I mean by nurture is you have to spend quality time together, you have to listen, you have to talk. You have to really make that quality time for one another. You have to put love into your relationship. Make it grow and prosper.

Love
  Live
    Life

Matchmaking

I've been around people who met through another person or through other people. And I do think it's a wonderful thing when you can do that for somebody. But there is a down side to matchmaking. I think when you don't listen to the person who's searching for somebody things could really go down hill and quick. Everybody have their preferences of what they like and what they don't like. So I feel like when you're playing matchmaker; you really should and need to listen. If that person tells you they don't want somebody younger than them, you really need to listen. Not everybody wants a younger man or woman. If somebody tells you they want somebody who's physically attractive don't turn around and call that person superficial. 

People are so quick to call people superficial when playing matchmaker, and that's very hurtful and judgmental. That's just not right. Don't go around saying you'll help somebody find love, and then don't want to know what they person is looking for. That's a dangerous situation really waiting to happen. 

I can talk from experience. I was matched up with a younger dude, and to be honest he just wasn't the one for me at all. He way to young and then he lived in the past. I can't build a friendship with somebody who is stuck in the past. So just be careful when introducing people. 

Love

  Live

    Life